Main aur Merey Tanhaai

I looked at him as he passed me by. It had been over 6 months since we had spoken. The pandemic had resulted in a breakup in our relationship. We know that we loved each other but then stuff happens. As I looked at him walking past without even looking at me, I felt a surge of memories come gushing out.

We used to spend a lot of time together. He insisted that I accompany him whenever he travelled. It was not easy. The long flights, the waiting at airports, sleeping in a strange room each night and those taxi rides. I did not enjoy any of them but then he insisted, and I would agree. He enjoyed these trips and I loved him too much to object.

The trips especially to USA were more tiring but then that was when we enjoyed ourselves the most. The walk all over those big beautiful airports, those colourful shops with all kinds of stuff that one would be tempted to buy. But luckily, I was one of those who didn’t buy much but preferred to see and enjoy. That way we were a perfect couple.

The one weakness we had was for chocolates. Every time even if I objected, he would end up buying chocolates of various kinds. He would say, this is not for you. This is for my daughter, my sister in law, my nephew, for myself with full of nuts and fruits he would say. I would protest saying that I was the one who was gaining weight. But he never listened.

I hated standing for hours in those long immigration lines in USA after a more than 24 hr flight and on one of the recent visits we were there we ended up in yet another line after immigration and I protested. I wanted to get to the hotel and rest. He said that he was trying to get a new pass by which we did not have to stand in these long lines in future. I waited patiently. Sure, enough on our next visit to USA, we breezed through immigration in 5 minutes and were in a taxi heading for a hotel. Guess that previous wait was worth it.

The most enjoyable time in the international airports was when we walked all over the place and he was holding me in his hands. The smell of fresh bread, those gifts, and souvenirs that he insisted on buying gave us both so much happiness. We had planned that this year we would go to UK and then drive all over the country together and see the countryside. But that was not to be.

Within India what was most enjoyable was the stay in the hotels. They were so lovely, and they took such good care of us. The moment we entered the lobby somebody would come to escort me to our room, ensure that we were settled comfortably. It felt nice to be treated so well when one did not get this kind of treatment anywhere else in the world. My India, my incredible India – I love my country.

Before every trip I would ensure that all his clothes washed, ironed and properly folded were packed well and invariably by the time the trip was over, he would have a bunch of dirty clothes, badly folded and just thrown around. I did not like it but then I could understand him, so I kept quiet. The moment we reached home he would ensure that all the dirty clothes were put to wash however late in the night it was. I could sleep light and feeling weightless. That way he was very considerate.

I also ensured that I took care of him during these trips. I would carry his medicines and such so that he would always be safe and healthy. I knew he could not carry too much weight, so I always helped him.

But now, for 6 months and more we had broken up. It had happened suddenly. We did not even realise that we were going to part like this. We felt that maybe this was like a lover’s tiff, soon things would be alright. But this time that just did not happen. Every day I saw him, and my heart would be heavy as he ignored me. Deep in my heart I knew he still loved me. But he did not just show it, till today.

As he walked past yet again, for the first time he looked up and looked at me. He stopped and then gently reached up and pulled me down from the ledge where I had been sitting for over 6 months. He dusted me, cleaned me up and gave me a chance to stretch a bit. I could see it in his face that he still loved me, his small carry on suitcase, that he missed being with me and going on all those trips and bringing back chocolates. 

I was again happy.