Memories...Technology...Friendship...

It was 1996 and Internet, which is so ubiquitous today and literally touching our life every minute of the day, was a novelty, an unknown faceless blackhole that was a wonder to most of us. I remember meeting a senior Infotech guru who showed me something called email and it was so complicated that I wondered why anyone would even want to use it.

The state run VSNL, as it was then called had started this thing called internet and for those who were born around that time, I must explain how it worked. It was fascinating. Sure, after reading this you will think of Dinosaurs but that was how it was.

Firstly, we used to dial up a number and after hearing a prolonged – Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Wuiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Keeee, Peeeee and such strange noises we were connected to god knows what. All we saw was a black screen. We the cattle class had what was called a Shell account while the likes of Infosys, TCS and such others had a TCP/IP account. The shell account meant that you didn’t see any graphics, only text. You had no clue what you were clicking on except for what was obvious.

Like often happens with technologies, the first users and application are invariably pornography. So, trust the ingenuity of youngsters, they soon formed friend’s circles with those working in Infotech companies who downloaded all the girlie pictures and it was circulated on that small pocket-sized floppy discs. I still remember a friend in an IT company handling the network who got called by the boss and instructed to shut down access to such sites. He bluntly asked – do you want to lose employees and have reduced productivity? He swears that the boss looked like he would have a heart attack but finally said – do what you want, but can you at least tell the team not to post those pictures on my computer.

Then the kids with shell accounts found another solution. By using certain keys, you could highlight all the images on the site and with clever guesswork you could download the images you wanted. The excitement was in not knowing what you downloaded till you saw them later.

The speed was like 16 Kbps and if you got that speed late in the night, you were so excited that you didn’t sleep all night. In fact, the more knowledgeable logged in after 10 PM till everybody became smart and then it didn’t matter anymore. You clicked on something, went and watched the TV serial, had coffee and then came back to continue. A few years later the internet became all TCP/IP, so everyone got the full experience, but the speeds were like 64 Kbps for most and you still dialled in. However, you had service providers that gave you a leased line, so you were connected whenever you wanted instantly and the price for a 64 Kbps line was …. Hold your breath – around Rs. 1,50,000 per annum. Yes, there is no typo in the zeroes there. A line that worked like 2 Mbps cost around Rs. 30,00,000 per annum.

So today when we talk of lightning speeds, watching live TV, movies, streaming videos, real time video chats and so much more – all on your phone, from anywhere in the world - and you pay something like Rs. 150 per month you will understand the feelings of the person who started off in 1996.

In those days having an Email account was like having a Swiss bank account and the best part was that it was free. Trust an Indian to always want something free and to give something free, so you had Sabir Bhatia giving us Hotmail and teaching the world the meaning of free. And oh boy, I can tell you it was HOT given that most times people used it to find exotic girlfriends/ boyfriends globally and exchange pictures and have all kinds of fun online.

Never mind that most of the time the pictures were fake – except that only the Indians knew it was fake, the foreigners thought they were real. What invariably happened was that taking a photo on a camera, transferring it to the computer, then attaching to emails was a tedious process. So, many Indians downloaded or scanned pictures of their local film and cricket heroes/heroines and shared them with their exotic friends abroad saying it was them. Those folks abroad never knew. But if by chance those foreign folks tried a similar trick the Indians would usually recognise the Hollywood heroine/hero and start abusing that poor online friend – yes, trolling has been a national hobby ever since internet started.

Some sites allowed you to create your own email address which was then linked to the actual VSNL email address and that was a real thrill for many. So, for those who were trying to navigate the internet perusing professional work with contacts abroad, especially USA, you were trying to appear different and there was this Email service called USA.net. Back then it was a more exclusive Email service, still free (they started charging for it later).

Dealing with folks in USA made me register for a USA.net Email address and right away I ran into roadblocks with technical issues. Unlike today, those who supported customers lived where their companies were located. So that meant that any help I wanted had to come from an American, living in USA and even then, the time difference was the same – 10 to 12 hrs. And if you needed to talk, you dialled an international number paying a king’s ransom – provided you had access to what was then called International Subscriber Dialling and the telephone worked. So, in frustration I just left a message and then forgot all about it.

Much to my surprise, I got a call and a strange lady with a distinctly American accent spoke and introduced herself as – Sharla – and asked how she could help me. And oh yes Tthat is her REAL name. Back then these customer support folks didn’t use false names. That I was surprised is putting it mildly. But more importantly she had to spend some time understanding my situation – remember the dial up, Kui, Wui, Kee, Pee and all that – and she patiently waited on an international call while I connected. But wait, remember also that it was a Shell account meaning that I didn’t see any graphics and she had to patiently spend big money on an international call while I tried to do whatever it was that she was asking me to do. Finally, it worked, I could use the Email service and we were both happy. In fact, that was my first ever experience in life of customer service over a phone and it was a surreal feeling. After we disconnected, I sat thinking and realised that for the lady it should be way past midnight and like an inconsiderate guy I hadn’t even thanked her properly.

The next day I sent her a very sincere fulsome thank you email and expressed my appreciation in detail and then forgot all about it. Quite some time later I was surprised to get an email from Sharla. She thanked me for my letter and said that her boss had read the email and she had been appreciated for her customer service effort. That felt good and I hesitantly asked if I could stay in touch with her – like a pen pal or something. She said yes.

Its now been 23 years – yes that’s a real long time and we have stayed friends ever since and if I may say so grown together. Our little kids have grown up to accomplish so much in their lives to make us proud, we have lived through sickness, challenges, job loss, personal upheavals, happy times and while we didn’t communicate often, we just did not forget each other or lose contact. We regularly sent a kind of “Life report” sharing all the good, not so good and tough times in our lives. It was a long time before we exchanged pictures and phone numbers and could be comfortable and trusting with each other.

Then one day, many years ago I got a call and an American male was on the line who introduced himself as Sharla’s husband. I can tell you that my heart was pounding and my mouth dry because I had no clue what kind of a jealous husband I was going to be dealing with, what could be the consequences and when he greeted me with a cherry – Hey Ravi, how are you – I started breathing again. He said that Sharla’s birthday was coming up and could I do something special for her, it would be a surprise and mean so much to her since he had heard all about me. That felt good and I don’t remember but I do recollect calling her, sending her a card or something.

Finally, in 2010 I was slated to visit USA and told her, and she invited me to come visit her at home and stay the weekend. I wasn’t sure, it was a strange experience for me since I never go stay with anyone on my travels even in India. I didn’t know how her family would take it, didn’t know how to handle myself in a strange house with someone I would meet for the first time in my life. Finally, I mustered the courage and said yes. I am glad I did so.

Sharla and family lived quite a distance from the airport – almost an hour and half drive – and she came to pick me up with her husband. Having been in touch only by email for 18 years we were properly talking for the first time and meeting in person. I at least felt like a teenager on his first date – though this was no date – awkward and self-conscious. As we drove, she kept getting calls from her children – she has 7 – asking about the menu, cooking, arrangements etc. The whole family seemed excited. Being a vegetarian, the family was trying to cook up a vegetarian dinner and her children were doing something or other to make the visit special.

The family had cooked a vegetarian dinner and we spent time talking and knowing each other and it was quite late before we went to bed. Her husband Steve is a skilled woodwork engineer and so I had a set of wooden toys for him as a gift. The whole family was gracious, hospitable and friendly. Over the weekend Sharla and Steve took me sightseeing and finally dropped me back at the airport.

It is not often that you end up finding a friend in such unusual circumstances and then it sustains for so long and even if you are not exactly in contact regularly, you just don’t forget each other. If I don’t write for a long time, Sharla will. Invariably its Sharla who picks up the pen first in a manner of speaking.

Sharla says that in her current job she spends early mornings on conference calls with her Indian team as they work together. Whenever she picks up a phone for customer support its probably someone in India assisting her. Technology has changed how we live but I keep wondering does it still create such long lasting lovely friendships? Does it bring strangers together to become friends? When I find that companies now use IVR or machine algorithm-based support till it reaches a stage to make it absolutely essential to call for human intervention I think its unlikely that such friendships would get created – unless a AI driven machine falls in love with you!!!!

Sharla is a person who is not only loving and caring but extremely helpful and on the odd occasion when I have asked for some help, she takes it upon herself as if it were her own problem and assist. Both of us have battled our personal health challenges, our family challenges. We have rejoiced at the accomplishments and success of children. With 7 achievers in the family and 4 of them in uniform doing very well, Sharla has lots more to share and worry about than me. But it just feels so good when you can share knowing that the other will feel the pain and joy.

23 years and going strong, I look forward to a celebratory silver jubilee – maybe a Skype party together. In fact, I have made Sharla get on to WhatsApp so we can even have a WhatsApp party in real time. That should be fun. Technology brought us together, so technology keeps us together. Email is old fashioned much like the post card in 1996 and WhatsApp and such Apps are the new normal. Hopefully we will continue to exchange real smiles and feelings like always and not emojis!!!!